We must stop using people either physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, or in any other way, for our benefit and ego

• We are social beings. We are wired to love, care, and connect — not to manipulate and discard. Let’s use things, not people. Let’s love people, not things.

Aisha Khan

The flipped Human Values

We live in a time where the norm has flipped, where people are used and things are loved. That’s right, you read it right: use people, not things. Discard people, not things. Keep things, not people. Destroy people, not things. Value things, not people.

This disturbing shift has quietly woven itself into the fabric of modern society. Once unthinkable, it has now become the norm. We have created a world where deep emotional value is assigned to tangible things, a world where we cherish objects, while humans are treated as disposable and easily replaceable. Sadly, almost everyone seems to be caught up in this wave regardless of generation.

A Time When People Mattered

There was a time when people deeply valued human emotions. Respect, commitment, and compassion were not just norms; they were taught and practiced. Humans were seen as precious — deserving of love, trust, and loyalty. Based on my experiences and observations, I once believed that only Millennials and Gen Z had lost touch with values. But facing some terrible and heart-wrenching realities, I have realized that this decline runs across generations present today. Those who are meant and supposed to lead by example are practicing the same thing they criticize, only preaching and blaming the younger ones while, ironically doing the same themselves.

A Core Question

This brings me to the core question: What is wrong with us? Why do so many people no longer care for others with respect or integrity? Why do we use people for personal gain and then discard them without a second thought? How can we be so insensitive toward our fellow humans?

The consequences of such behaviors are devastating, long-lasting, and destructive. Not everyone who has been hurt can cope with emotional and mental trauma. These actions might lead someone into deep anxiety or depression, manifesting mental, physical, and emotional breakdowns. These wounds create long-lasting scars, trust issues, self-doubt, and a damaged sense of self-worth.

This puts me into a puzzle that haunts me: How can we, as human beings, treat other human beings like objects?

Disrupting others’ lives, breaking their trust, and leaving them shattered just because they were honest, available, and loving. No one ever deserves this. Some people are sensitive, emotional, damaged, and over thinkers who replay these emotional betrayals over and over again, unable to find peace, closure, or answers to the countless questions tormenting them. Why put someone through that, someone who gave you love, loyalty, trust, their time, and their entire heart?

We must remind ourselves: that humans are not things

This culture of disposability is leading to social and emotional chaos. People are afraid of humans, relationships, and trusting others. They are isolating and disconnecting themselves socially because of these norms where they get used and later betrayed by those whom they trust and love. The connections are meant to bring peace and stability in life, but now bring more chaos, mess, and tragic ends with lifelong wounds and damage.

Humans are being disposed of as things as if they have no emotions and as if they don’t feel anything. Strangely, we take far better care of our phones, laptops, furniture, clothes, and other materialistic things than we do of the people who love us. We keep broken objects because we’re attached to them. But when it comes to people, those still serving us with care, we discard them without hesitation, without explanation, and shut the doors on their faces with the utmost brutality.

Failing as Humans

Why do children abandon their parents in old age homes? Why do friends, lovers, or spouses replace people they once cherished, treating them as useless, replaceable, and discardable? The irony is that we are willing to keep material things that no longer serve us, but we betray and throw away people who love, care for, and trust us; those who gave us the best moments, stood by us in the rough and tough times, through the ups and downs and offered the best version of themselves to us. We are failing as humans.

We are becoming deeply selfish, driven by ego and self-interest. People from all generations today are guilty of this. Many have become masters of manipulation, lying, and betraying — taking kindness, innocence, and simplicity as vulnerabilities to take advantage of. We use people and when done, callously move on, leaving them with pain, confusion, and countless unanswered questions, ignoring them and punishing them without accountability and explanation.

Echoes of Kinder Past

I remember sitting with my grandmother, she often told us stories and reminded us about the importance of keeping promises, honoring commitments, and valuing and loving people. She used to say, “When someone trusts you, never break that trust. Keep your words, no matter what.”

Our parents reinforced these values. Our upbringing is centered around respecting emotions, treating others with kindness, never taking anyone for granted, and valuing humans above all else.

Every religion and every culture in the world stresses the importance of humanity. Yet, in our race toward modernization, we have forgotten the very core and essence of being “human.”

This trend is deeply damaging, and what is even worse, it is being passed on to future generations. The middle-aged and older generations, who are in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, carry a responsibility to lead with empathy and set an example. Unfortunately, many are practicing the same norm; they are not valuing humans and treat humans as objects.

It is time to stop

We must stop using people either physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, or in any other way, for our benefit and ego. We need to stop treating people like tools for temporary satisfaction. We need to be loyal humans who take care of others’ emotions and are honest.

Can’t we be honest with ourselves and with others? Why can’t we value human beings for their hearts, not their utility?

Final Plea

Please — use things, not people.

The damage this mindset and norm are causing is irreversible. It’s destroying mental peace and emotional well-being, and in some tragic cases, leading people to suicidal thoughts. We must act before this dehumanization becomes permanent.

We are social beings. We are wired to love, care, and connect — not to manipulate and discard.

Let’s return to our roots.

Let’s use things, not people.

Let’s love people, not things.